The steps of ballet dancers fascinate me: light, floating and gliding; yet sure footed, firm and grounded. Seemingly barely there, a fleeting glimpse of wispy luminescence, yet fully engaged in the  present; feeling and expressing the deepest of emotions and passions.

So why am I talking about ballet movements? Because this image comes to mind when thinking about the importance of treading softly or stepping lightly, but securely. Lending itself to literal and figurative interpretations.

“Lighter on your feet, lighter on your feet, keeping your balance,” urges the voice of the instructor, guiding a walking programme on the video. It requires concentration, focus and mindfulness. And manifests itself in every walk of life.

The Literal aspect of Stepping Lightly

Stepping lightly, or when we say walk lightly, it literally means, placing our feet such that our steps are not a stomp, but graceful and gentle. It indicates a person who is agile. Someone conscious of not damaging the ground and the environment; and not leaving litter and vast amounts of carbon footprint.

It is not a question of physical weight. A light weight person can be heavy footed and vice versa. It is to do with the mindset. Of being mindful of how we take our steps.

The Figurative aspect

This lends itself to multiple interpretations. In this article we will talk about the normal, regular and routine situations and interactions that we face and handle in life.

There are some who leave a heavy baggage on those they interact with, even on a normal regular basis. Adjectives and phrases that come up for me are – heavy handed, breathing down one’s neck, abusive language, sarcastic, negativity, pessimistic, belittling, intrusive…….

And there are those whose imprint can be lasting in a pleasant, productive and peaceful way. Their interactions can be intense but not heavy handed; meaningful but not didactic; honest without being scorchingly judgemental.

It is not just a one way ticket. Corrosive and heavy interactions impact both parties. With others and even with ourselves in our internal dialogue.

Stepping Lightly is not about avoiding issues

Stepping lightly does not mean minimizing the importance of issues and becoming shallow. Nor does it mean skirting responsibility for our actions.

It simply means not getting overly burdened and stressed. It is also about not personalising everything, which takes away our agency and ability to handle situations effectively, objectively and with clarity. Imagine your blood vessels where your life force is flowing easily, without the constricting tightness of a heavy grip.

Using humour is a tool that can be useful to maintain the lighter touch and ease out tension.

For example: You are doing an important presentation and suddenly the sound packs up.

Heavy tread response – muttering, mumbling a weak apology, blaming the organiser, balmy hands, panicking about how to proceed.

Light tread response – “Seems like the presentation has taken itself very seriously. We were talking about different methods of communication. The challenge is on. Let’s play a game of lip reading! When necessary I’ll do the voice over.”

This lightens the mood, people laugh. On your part you took charge without being overpowering. You accepted that there was a situation, but did not allow it to weigh you down. The people too felt easy and observing your response, did not get irritable or frustrated with the lack of sound.

Avoiding Control and Obsession with results

Attempting to control all aspects including the outcome and obsessing over it, if things do not go according to our desires, is an aspect of our not being able to tread lightly. Doing what we need to, to the best of our ability and allowing things to pan out, gives us a sense of ease and distance. It allows us to breathe lighter, soar joyously with small happy moments without palpitating over every hiccup.

“I’ve done what was possible. Let’s see what happens. We’ll take it from there.”

How do these words make you feel, as opposed to,

“It will be an absolute disaster if this does not work out. Given my luck, I am getting a sinking feeling.”

It means not getting so enmeshed that we get stuck and lose the overview, the sight of the larger picture. To avoid this, we can be engaged, committed but not unhealthily attached.

It basically means not holding things, feelings, situations, frustrations in a tight, tense grip. Instead, with a buoyancy and lightness, that allows space and freedom for easy breathing and improvisation. It is a tough call but possible with awareness and practise. A common example quoted is asking oneself how significant the issue will be in the next six months or one year.

Situations come up that need tough handling. Some require pretty drastic action. The difference is in the manner in which they are executed. Those who tread lightly will do it with finesse and compassion; and maintain a decorum even in trying times, with a certain degree of detachment.

How do we keep the balance?

Observing ourselves, we need to be aware and conscious of not getting drawn into weighty self-talk that traps us in chambers of fear or feeling like a victim. Or, being hopeless, thinking of ourselves as worthless, feeling resourceless without any agency…etc.

Challenge the disturbing thoughts and generate those that make us feel lighter and better. Some examples:

1.Heavy thought – It is impossible for me to change at this age. I will just stay stuck.

Lighter less rigid thought – The change is that finally I’ve understood why I feel stuck. I feel scared to change but I don’t want to be stuck either. I will feel much better with small changes to start with.

2.Heavy thought – If I speak up it will lead to drama and unpleasantness. I just have to bottle up my feelings.

Lighter thought – I can practise how to express myself calmly, without getting worked up. It will establish the fact that I cannot be walked over and I will not carry this baggage inside me.

3.Weighty thought – My head is jammed with so many conflicting thoughts.  It confuses me and I don’t know which one to go with.

Lighter thought – I am glad I can see all perspectives. Life is not black and white.  I don’t have to choose either this or that immediately. I will take my time and see what aligns with me.

If necessary take help from a trusted friend, a counsellor or psychotherapist, to understand whether what we are telling ourselves is the only and complete truth; or are we missing another perspective.

Things happen. Situations change. Setbacks surprise us. How others respond or behave is not in our control. Mentally, placing ourselves on a river bank, observing the water flow by is calming. It can also help us accept the ever moving, ever changing stream of life, the course of which is sometimes unpredictable. A lighter mindset, more accepting of the changing tide helps us tread softly and less aggressively in our own lives.

We can walk lighter if we do not burden ourselves with the baggage of what others expect of us, how they judge us or throw their frustrations on us.

What is in our control to tread lightly?

The language of thoughts and words we use, especially in difficult situations and also otherwise.

“I love catching up with Ashita,” remarked Ruksana.

“Why her particularly?” I asked.

“I always come back feeling lighter and happier after meeting her. She has this magic healing touch with her words. However worried or upset I may be, she helps me see another side. There is no dead end with her. She is flexible and can adapt to situations without getting all tight and tense. There is a lightness and ease with which she handles life and  holds her thoughts and emotions. ”

In our control we have the following which can help in treading lightly –

• Our inner dialogue and thoughts, regarding ourselves and others.

• Our behaviour and the vibes we emanate.

• Our interaction with our environment – how peacefully aligned we are with Nature.

What is the benefit of stepping lightly with ease?

• It gives us the window to respond and not be aggressive or reactive when things go off track. The lighter attitude allows us to remain calm and be in a problem solving mode. Emotionally the lighter touch helps us to be stable.

• We carry a lighter, bouncier energy within us which helps in our interactions with others. Imagine wearing a pair of good walking shoes that take the edge off the ruggedness of the walking terrain. Our steps become lighter and surer, giving us a happy, sprightly, more confident feeling.

• Treading lightly helps in making us less judgemental. It gives us a sense of calm and security within, freeing us from the need to control and have things our way on a regular basis. The irony is that often with a lighter, less demanding nature we also attract responses from people helping us get what we want.

• The outcome of holding things lightly instead of gripping it with a clenched body eases anxiety and stress and generates happier hormones. It makes the business of living life far more pleasant and enjoyable.

• We can sleep better with a lighter mindset, with a greater bandwidth to deal with challenges more effectively.

“It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly.

Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them……. So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear, self-pity and despair.

That’s why you must walk so lightly…” Aldous Huxley

Like this article? Sumita is a prolific writer.

Here is a book with short stories, published recently by author Sumita Banerjea, which might be of interest.

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