My Relationship with Anger: From Suppression to Liberation

My Relationship with Anger: From Suppression to Liberation

Haider Jasdan

Senior HR Professional & Psychotherapist


Anger, the fiery tempest within the human soul, dances with the shadows of our deepest fears and desires. It is a force, both feared and revered, capable of consuming us whole or igniting a revolution of change. But we need to have a relationship with anger.

For years, I swallowed this potent emotion, burying it beneath layers of societal expectations and personal insecurities. But as I journeyed through the labyrinth of my own psyche, I unearthed the power hidden within my anger, realizing that it was not a beast to be tamed, but a guide to be understood.

The Power Struggle:

Growing up, I found myself entangled in various power struggles, both internal and external. Whether it was within my family dynamics, societal expectations, or professional settings, I often felt powerless; unable to assert myself or express my true feelings. With its fiery intensity, anger seemed like a dangerous weapon—one that I feared would backfire if unleashed.

In many ways, my relationship with anger was shaped by the oppressive forces at play in my life. Whether it was systemic injustice, cultural norms, or personal relationships marked by manipulation and control, I learned to internalize my anger as a means of survival. It became a heavy burden, weighing down my spirit and suffocating my sense of agency.

Trigger Points:

Over time, I became acutely aware of the triggers that ignited my suppressed anger. It could be a dismissive comment, an act of injustice and exclusion, or even a perceived slight—all catalysts for my simmering rage. Yet, even as these triggers sparked fury, I grappled with the fear of unleashing this volatile emotion.

Humanizing through a relationship with Anger

It wasn’t until I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing that I began to humanize anger—to see it not as a destructive force but as a natural and valid response to injustice and oppression.

Anger was no longer a monster to be feared but a messenger, signaling the need for change and asserting my boundaries. Anger became a tool for self-empowerment, a means of asserting my agency in a world that often sought to diminish it.

Yet, I also understood the importance of channeling anger constructively, lest it consume me from within. Here are some ways in which I learned to harness the power of my anger; to build a relationship with anger, for positive change:

1. Acknowledge and Validate:

Rather than dismissing or suppressing anger, I learned to acknowledge its presence and validate my emotions. By giving myself permission to feel angry, I honored the validity of my experiences.

2. Self-Reflection:

When anger arises, I take a moment to pause and reflect on its underlying causes. What injustice or boundary violation has triggered this response? By understanding the root of my anger, I can address the underlying issues more effectively.

3. Communication:

Instead of lashing out impulsively, I strive to communicate my feelings assertively and constructively. Whether through open dialogue or written expression, articulating my experience allows for productive resolution and mutual understanding.

4. Boundaries:

Anger often arises when our boundaries are crossed or violated. I’ve learned to set clear boundaries and assertively defend them, preventing resentment from festering beneath the surface.

5. Healthy Outlets:

Engaging in physical activity, creative expression, or mindfulness practices provides healthy outlets for releasing pent-up anger. Whether through exercise, art, or meditation, these activities help channel my energy productively.

6. Seeking Support:

It’s important to recognize when anger overwhelms and seek support from trusted friends, family, or mental health professionals. Having a support system in place ensures that I don’t have to navigate my emotions alone.

Honoring my anger as an emotion has been a liberating journey, allowing me to reclaim my voice and assert my truth in a world that often seeks to silence it.

By acknowledging its power and building a relationship with anger; learning to channel it constructively, I’ve transformed what was once a source of fear and shame into a catalyst for personal growth and social change.

Please do leave your comments at the bottom and do share with others if you like this article.

Notify of

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments