I, Me, Myself – our latest Value system

I, Me, Myself – our latest Value system

Sridhar Rao

Management Coach & Business Mentor


Wondering what this is about?

It is about what we see around us everywhere- on the streets, at work, in relationships, in politics, in governance…everywhere!

People seem to be on this trip of constantly proving something to others around – in thought, tweet, speech or deed.

So if, on the road, this 2-wheeler guy wants to take a right turn- he will. Doesn’t matter that there is a divider and no right turn. He just goes over the divider!

To hell with the on coming traffic that needs to put sudden brakes to accommodate him and save his life!!!

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On social media, especially Twitter, a few people are constantly trying to prove how only their thoughts are right and others are wrong. This hounding or trolling is not just one political party hitting at another; it has now gone down to individual agendas being driven about any subject that could be used to hit at someone; and every one’s in one or the other “camp”. The name of the game seems to be “let’s hit them”!

Of course, mercifully, while these few people are on the high decibel, 4 tweets per minute kind of a campaign, a large part of the population is not even there on twitter.

At workplaces, it hardly takes long for organisations to be divided into three groups – those who are close to the bosses, those who are close to the ones against the bosses and the third, vast majority, who watch dumbfounded the games that go on.

Needless to even talk about politics and governance.

What about relationships? Well, now even a fun song is that which encourages break ups and casual flings – “Break up Song”!!! So guess what’s happening in relationships.

What is happening around us?

Why is it so important for more and more people to have “my way or highway”?

I see a rapid devaluation of anything that promotes a sense of sanity, cohesion and discipline to enable society to function.The values displayed seem to promote more and more of negativity.

We are all Point collectors

It probably starts in childhood, when at home the kid is pushed to win in everything – exams, games, extra curricular activities and even looks!

If the kid succeeds, he/she learns that beating others wins him/her praise and rewards. And with each win he/she collects “Ego Points” which are stored in the heart.

The Ego Points may work to reinforce that he is smarter than others. It can build a disdain for others who don’t make it and a gradual disdain for the system itself that made him win.

If the child fails, he learns that he is a loser and collects “Sore Points”. The Sore Points build a longing to beat the system that doesn’t let him win. Their power will be used every time to break the system.

In between are all the other kids, with varying degrees of success or failure; and their own parcel of Points.

But a common thing getting more and more ingrained in all is insensitivity.

Results are the focus; not behaviour. Sane parenting, may be doing what it can, whenever time available; but are the pressures to succeed more powerful?

The silent majority is at risk

The law of nature says only a small percentage wins and a large percentage doesn’t, starting with the race to fertilise eggs. So do all our competitions- in education or other areas. The normal curve represents this, with a vast population stuck in the middle of the two extremes of outright winners and total losers.

The refusal to follow the simple traffic rule or respect the needs of others on the road could be the result of either of the two -Ego Points or Sore Points, driving the individual.

Those in the middle, who watch such actions and/or are the victims of these, either follow or pick up their own quota of Sore Points watching rampant violations.

So is it a surprise that more and more people every day are feeling sore about everything; And may be joining the bandwagons of the game players?

Do we need a change?

The winners are the ones who have the power to do things, to bring change in whatever part of society they won control – in government, in organisations, at homes or in society.

But the insensitivity and the Ego Points that made them winners, do not give them the awareness to think of what larger good they can do and how they can help losers and by-standers avoid collecting Sore Points and radiating negative energy.

Do we care?

I do……I hope you do too.

And what can we do to stop this?

I believe the three places that can work to bring a mass turnaround in Value Systems are – Homes, Educational Institutions and Workplaces. These are places where individuals spend the maximum part of a day.These are also places where there is a large set of people to interact with and align with for common value systems.

These are the places which have the power to bring social behavioural change by embedding strong values within their core systems and processes.

Do give your feedback on the views above as also what, if anything, could be done to bring change.


Please do leave your comments at the bottom and do share with others if you like this article.

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Rajiv Soni
Rajiv Soni

I, me, myself is the mantra explained in an aircraft. If you aint buoyant how wd you help others?
But I think one shouldn’t be callous- that is the spirit of this article. And I wholeheartedly agree 🙂

Sridhar Rao

So the point is about taking care of yourself but also others. In fact, the air hostess gives instructions that in case of low oxygen, masks will drop. First put on yourself and then help others:)

Sweta Bidwai

Very much true insights on what’s happening around! I , me , myself …. I agree on the point that our education system has to revamp a lot and so does the expectation of parents from a child.. I believe it all has to start from the education system and educating parents.

Ganesh R
Ganesh R

Good article by Sridhar apart from three places mentioned by him Social media & friends circle can also act pivotal media to bring change.

Meenu Sareen

What happened to this concept of ‘Team Spirit’ that organisations promote???

Sridhar Rao

That does not cover aspects affecting public behaviour.

Sridhar Rao

If you are referring to my point about groups in organisations, well, those team work programs aren’t really done in all. And often it happens despite.

Sonal Kothari

Resonated on multiple levels – esp the reference to children and how we imbibe this I,Me, Myself attitude in them and the part about “point collectors.” I watched this documentary film called “The Minimalists” and the ideas in your article and in the film are the same – about connection with self and other. Lots to change!

Sridhar Rao

Thanks Sonal! That’s very encouraging, coming from a person working in the Parenting space.


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