Homemaker or a Working woman? The endless debate in our minds

Homemaker or a Working woman? The endless debate in our minds

Shubha Sagar

Educator and Counsellor

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A woman is blessed with an infinite power, whether she is a homemaker, a working woman or managing both the roles. She is capable of going beyond possibilities and doing justice to whichever role she adopts; giving her best to whatever a particular situation demands and keeping herself and others around her happy.

Yet, there seems to be this endless debate in the minds of women about which role to take on – homemaker, working woman or both!

As a woman who has worked for over 25 years and been a homemaker for short stints, I feel privileged to have experienced both the roles. I feel that the thoughts that I am sharing for this strongly debated topic would have several women wholeheartedly agreeing.

Two equally difficult roles

First of all, I must say that it’s not easy to be in either of the roles; and certainly not at all doing a dual role! It requires immense adjustment and balancing acts to manage both the roles. Men and women from all walks of life have only added to this confusion through their diverse opinions and fuelled the conflict already existing in a woman’ s mind. The conflict has reached a crescendo with the increasing demands of being a so-called “modern woman of the 21st century”.

We all are aware that a woman is blessed with immense strength to tackle all kinds of situations, but that does not mean that a woman does not go through ‘highs and lows.’ She goes through moments when she feels a sense of loss, confusion and self-doubt. In times like these it is only her indomitable spirit that comes to her rescue and helps her resurrect her self-worth.

I can well relate to the image of Goddess Durga possessing several arms as it is symbolic of the multi-tasking that a woman is capable of. However, challenging the situation might be, a woman is not only capable of rising to it but handling it with ease and poise.

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The other side of the grass looks greener

I have seen homemakers envying the smartly-attired women going for work without realising that the working women equally envy the leisure ‘talks and walks’ of these seemingly ‘free birds’ as per them. As they say, “The grass is always green on the other side”!

I distinctly remember having met a friend, several years after our university days, working as a senior biochemist. She dazzled me by saying that having a good job was fine but she missed out indulging in household chores. On the reverse, a friend, who had never worked, had to say that she would do anything to get hold of a job; yet, she quit the job acquired with lots of effort and went back to being a housewife.

There are examples of highly qualified women, even doctors and engineers who prefer being homemakers and undergraduates who become successful entrepreneurs. It’s more about enjoying whatever task you may have in hand.

So, you see, each to her own, what works for one does not work for the other!

Homemaker or Working woman – both roles need discipline

Maintaining a meticulous home could be as satisfying as completing a presentation at work; and helping your child complete a school project can be as gratifying as being successful at the work place. If one learns to make the most of the moment, without drawing parallels, both roles would give the same satisfaction.

An important factor, is to inculcate discipline and set up a regime even as a homemaker, as you would while working for an organisation. My own experience has taught me that we stretch ourselves endlessly to meet the demands of a job, but do not put in the same efforts as a homemaker.

As an example, having to leave very early in the morning for work and coming back late in the evening, left me with no time, energy or inclination to go for a walk. When I quit my job, I kept telling myself that I would go for a walk every day; but, I continued procrastinating and the result was a very dull feeling. One fine day I just got up and made a schedule for myself; starting with morning walk to completing all the chores, even keeping some time for extra reading and writing. Believe me, the result was very gratifying.

Key to happiness lies in doing full justice

The key to happiness lies not as much in the role you are essaying but doing full justice to it. Allow your mind to be your boss to help you achieve your 100 % from each and every task at hand. The end result would be very fulfilling, leaving no room for speculation about, which role is better for you; that of a homemaker or a working woman.

To sum up, some tips:

  • You and you alone can decide what is the best role for you as per your interests and abilities.
  • If circumstances do not allow you to make a choice, enjoy doing what you are doing, wholeheartedly, without drawing parallels.
  • Let not the endless debates and discussions on, which role is ‘bigger and better’, distract you.
  • When someone remarks that you look so tired after work, just smile; and when told ‘you’re a mere housewife’, tell them that ‘you are proud to be one’.
  • Do not take people’s comments at face value; they often speak out of envy or sheer frustration of their own inability to handle a particular situation.
  • Engage yourself in activities that you enjoy. Let not ‘lack of time or inclination’ be an excuse.

 

Last but not the least, delve deep into the divine power within and enjoy either role…and let the debate go on forever!

 

Please do leave your comments at the bottom and do share with others if you like this article.

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