Aimlessly staring at the blank document, searching infinite images online, getting angry at everyone for no reason and still feeling demotivated; it is a usual cycle, where I keep feeling frustrated because I am unable to come up with any topic to write my next blog; and it is damn frustrating!
There are many visions and themes going on in my mind. But because they are so scattered and uneven, it becomes difficult to find out what I want to write on.
So I chose to let the flow of words come out as they wanted to, without worrying about the sense or meaning behind them. I closed my eyes to calm my senses. As I shut them, various scenes ran in front of me, as if I was watching a film or seeing a powerpoint presentation of my life’s best moments. I felt a rush of everything I had achieved, overcome, and wanted to have.
Gratitude – helping weed out negativity
At that moment, I knew what I wanted to write about:- “Gratitude.”
Calming myself, I started writing and that’s when everything made sense. Accepting, that I want to practice gratitude or write about it, just made my new found reality more real inside me; a reality which has peace, contentment and happiness in it.
As soon as I accept this reality, it compels me to look at the bigger picture and work towards larger goals of my life; such as, weeding out negativity or people who no longer hold any meaning for me. Focusing on personal growth; working towards my parked dreams, for which I didn’t have time earlier; and, most importantly, acknowledging that now, I am my own person; an adult who can take care of herself in every aspect.
Expressing Gratitude – Connecting with the Universe
It also bridges a direct connection with the Universe, towards which I feel extremely grateful. If it wasn’t guiding me every way, I would have been a lost cause. I immensely feel like expressing my gratitude to the Universe, for the way my life has turned out to be; with lots of difficulties, yet beautiful.
This feeling and relationship with the Universe is very pure, but accepting this would mean like a final moving on step. It isn’t fully acceptable yet in my mind right now, because it also means that I am ready to let go of my past pain and hurt. I am ready to let go of small or big things, that I have realized but had chosen to stay on with. The struggle is real.
Expressing gratitude also means that I am taking a step towards it. To believe in it completely, because this has been one true relationship in all my years. I am CHOOSING to believe in the happiness, peace and contentment that have occurred in my life and I’m all ready to welcome them with my open arms. This makes my experiences of being free, loved, cared for and happy more real. I didn’t know that sometimes, happy realities can be so hard to take in.
Deepening sense of Spirituality
For me, it will also deepen my sense of spirituality and make me walk towards it. Now, these steps could come with any of the outcomes such as giving up on the materialistic world, attaining Nirvana, or maybe, even attaining Sanyas or Moksha.
Though the feeling makes me excited, the thoughts around them still make me shudder at times, because I cannot believe that the moment I have been waiting for is finally here!
It is like finally living the dream. But it begins by expressing gratitude and so here I am expressing it loud, clear, and in written form:
Thank you Universe for being there with me always. For those times when I begged you to help me and for those times when I was angry, cruel and upset with you. Thank you, for not giving up on me when I gave up on myself and feared that I won’t be able to do anything; or, when I held on to my belief that life cannot be beautiful. You were always there!
You always sent me signs and signals to help me help myself. Thank you for sending me friends, whenever I was passing through a rough patch – they reminded me of how good a person I am and helped me rebuild my lost confidence.
Thank you for the friends and teachers
You sent me many friends, some who came for a short time in my life; but, for that time, that person was the best; and this is what I now understand in retrospect, while I am writing this piece. Others have stayed with me and they truly are angels in disguise.
Thank you for not making me feel alone. When, for example, I saw my friends with their mothers and couldn’t hold back my tears because I missed mine. In those times, you made different people come into my life and take up a small mothering role because I needed it.
When my life’s void seemed too much to deal with, you sent me people who could take up different roles in those moments. Irrespective of the fact, whether they were a part of my earlier life or not, what matters is, that when they were needed, they had arrived.
Thank you for blessing me with amazing professors without whom, the college would have been a burden. I wouldn’t have dared to discover myself, if they didn’t stand with me as a rock at that time.
Importantly, thank you for blessing me with my three Gurus, (my 3 “K moms”, as I call them, thanks to their names), at the workplace and for a home away from home.
Thank you for the Moon and the Stars
I remember the times in my school, where I felt loneliness at my core. I cried for having no friends, and didn’t see any way out. I could still feel you being there; through the Moon, the Wind and the Water. One of your beautiful creations, the Moon, has always been close to my heart.
Whenever I look at it, I feel warm, loved and protected. The gentle and shining rays of the moon always make me feel like they are wrapping me in a hug. The Stars have been my shiny friends, who twinkle and sparkle happiness around me.
When I see them wrapped in the unlimited sky, I feel special. I feel all of it – the humongous sky, the evenly spread out Stars and the pure Moon, which are there – just for me and me alone.
Gratitude towards the Universe, for the blessing and love
I feel close to you, with a sense of an unshakable bond between us, which is very old and strong. I remember spending hours together under the gorgeous sky and feel my worries washing away. I continue to do so. Whenever I am confused or stuck, I talk to you. I open my arms and welcome the changes that you have always sent in my life.
I am grateful to you because you never gave up! You were always there protecting me, helping me, nurturing me and guiding me. Yes, you have been strict at times as well, when I didn’t catch your signs or signals or didn’t give my intuition its due importance.
I have had that whack from you many times, but you still didn’t let me get consumed by my internal fears and weakness. You always inspired me in different ways by playing a song, sending a message through a friend, or just words in random conversations to boost up my spirit.
My gratitude to you for bringing in what I needed in every moment – it may not have necessarily been what I wanted, but it definitely/certainly was what I deserved.
Thank you dear Universe, for your immense blessing and love!”
Adapted from the original article written by the author at From the Brewery of Life
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